Everyone my age remembers a made for TV movie that aired in 1971 called BRIAN'S SONG. It was the the story of BRIAN PICCALO and GALE SAYERs, two running backs for the Chicago Bears. The storyline consisted of their friendship and often competitive nature.
One was black and one white. One gifted with natural ability the other, the drive to make up for any short givings.
Throughout the movie, the friendship and respect between these two athletes builds until one day at practice, Brian begins to feel he's lost a step, something is wrong and he cannot compete with Gale at the same level. He see's the DR and tests are completed. A worried Gale Sayers visits Brian Piccalo and Brian jokes that he knows what wrong....He's pregnant!!!
But we soon learn the Brian has Cancer, the C word. For many of us in grade school watching this move, it was the first time we heard about Cancer. We watched Gale's close friend, Brian Piccalo slowly die in front of our eyes. We witnessed the pain of his family and for a few minutes, we felt the loss too. It wasn't not a pleasant feeling but thankfully it was only a TV show.
Last month, I found out I too have Cancer...it was like Brian's Song but... for real!!! I can't say that I was surprised. Somehow I've always had this nagging suspicion that the clock was ticking...something may take me early. I spent each day in worry as the tests were completed and results emailed to me. As of today, 12-13-2020, I'm happy to report that I'm only stage one and most of the tumor was removed. There is no further spreading to my internal organs...I thank God!!! I await a phone call to let me know when chemotherapy and radiation will begin to kill any remaining cells that may have been left behind.
The past four years have been a nightmare!
It all began on September 10th 2016. Our mother had set the date for us, my brothers and families to meet for a cook out. Mom was missing the family all together and we knew it must be serious when word came that she was in the hospital. Her kidneys were shutting down! She was in severe pain and on one particular night she was so bad that she began accepting that she was going to die. While Mom fought for her life, our Dad was going back in forth from Morton to the Hospital. Dad had been experiencing dementia and was beginning to forget to take his meds. He had diabetes and other problems and Mom and Dad needed each other to survive.
Mom moved from hospital to nursing care and back many times. At one point Dad was staying in a private room to be close to Mom but also for nurses to help him with his own health issues. We had Christmas in the nursing home that year and it ended up being the last one we would share together.
After the holidays, I was waking down the hallway of the nursing home to visit Mom. Dad was walking towards me with his coat on. I said hi and asked where he was going. He said he was bored and tired of staying in his room. He said he was going home and would continue to drive to see Mom. I remember telling him, just hold out for a couple more weeks. Mom was starting to get better and then they could BOTH go home soon. I remember he half smiled at me like I was 14. I said, " Dad, you're going to fall and no one will be there to help." He said, " bullshit." And with that, he walked on out the door. It would be the last time I saw my Dad conscious.
A few days later, after walking to the office of their mobile park to pay their rent, my Dad slipped and fell, hitting his head and causing extreme swelling of the brain. I was called and met the Drs at the ER. Dad was semi alert and seemed to recognize me when I walked into the room. He called me DARYL and mumbled a little about something before the Dr took me out of the room and informed me it was bad. Dad passed away on January 12 2017.
For the next two years, Mom lived alone but moved to and from at least four different locations. She fell often and was hospitalized over and over with C Diff and other issues. She got to the point where she could not eat without having extreme pain. She under took two major surgeries to help with her stomach arteries that were blocked. I must admit she was a tough bird but finally, she just couldn't take care of herself any longer.
Earlier in February of 2018, we lost our dear Crystal to Cancer. She was my first cousin but was really like a sister to me. Mom and her were very close. It was another sad day and another death in our family. Ironically, her 24 year old daughter also died of Cancer the following year in 2019! It was such a loss and one we could never come to grips with.
Our Mom died on New Years Day 2020. The week before I had visited her on a Friday night after work. She was in bed and her room was dark except for the light of the TV. She woke and after I sat down she told me that she had been thinking about my son, Dylan! She said I needed to go to Missouri and help him. This conversation kind of haunts me because unexpectedly on March 22nd, I received a phone call from our daughter that our son, her brother, Dylan was dead. What had my Mom known?
2020 continued and Covid 19 changed the world as we know it. Then in November, I was told that I had Cancer!!! I had that feeling like I had when watching Brian's Song as a kid....
But this was REAL. It was another sucker punch. I continue to wait for therapy and am putting it all into God's hands. I know I will see my family again someday. So for now, I look forward to retiring in 6 months and living!!!! Merry Christmas!!!!
My goodness, that's a lot to go through all at once!!!! Watching a loved one suffer is the hardest thing I've ever done so far!