It's June 17th, 2020. Coming up on three months since my son, Dylan, passed away. I have days of incredible depression, but for my own health, I try to carry on as best I can. The world is in chaos as I type, so it would be much too easy to just give up. I keep busy with my music, writing, recording and practicing my solo ( or trio ) act so I'm ready to perform in Florida next year. I'll be 61 in one week and retired in one year!!! I woke this morning thinking of Dylan and this story came to mind.
After my divorce in 1994, we had an agreement that we would share joint custody and travel back and forth from Peoria to Festus, Missouri every other week. It was going to be hard but doable. That was until, I found out from the mouth of my four year old daughter that my ex and children were moving to Arkansas!!!! My attorney suggested I prosecute but I didn't want to put my children's mother in jail for moving across state lines and ignoring the divorce decree. I probably should have. She basically stole my kids. I regretted my decision often, but instead of prosecuting, against my attorney's judgement, we adjusted the custody arrangement. She had the kids but I was to get them on holidays and Summer. The long stretches between visits tore me up. I would write and record little radio shows called Puppy Dog And The Friendly bear on cassette tape. I took video of EVERYTHING we did when we WERE together and would edit the best memories and send all of this to them every year....anything to keep me in their minds.
It was during one of these visits in 1996, that I experienced one of those days that all parents dread. It had been a wonderful hot Summer day and we had spent several hours at the SPLASH water park. We were about to leave as it was almost dinner time. Dylan appeared to the back of my lounge chair where I was peacefully relaxing in the sun. "Dad, can we swim for ten more minutes?" Those were the infamous words to which I replied, "OK, ten more minutes!"
I can't remember how I was made aware of Dylan's accident. It may have been another parent, "is that your child?" Or it may have been Dara getting our attention....but I got up out of my chair as fast as I could to find Dylan, who was about 4, bleeding profusely from his mouth and flowing like a crimson river down his little belly and coagulating around his feet on the hot concrete. He was in shock and shivering. Dara was trying her best to fill me in on what had just happened!!! I heard HEAD FIRST and SLIDING BOARD and that all I needed to hear. He must have knocked his teeth out!!!!
I picked up my son and as fast as I could walk, began searching for a first aid/office area. As I walked, I remember my bare feet burning as if I were treading on the sun!!! I had Dylan held close to my body...his face was frozen, blonde curls blood drenched while an endless river traveled from his body down my own stomach drying on the hair of my legs.
It seemed like it took forever to find an office. All the while, I could see smiling faces out of my peripheral vision transforming into looks of concern and even terror!!!! It must be bad I thought to myself as I finally arrived at the lifeguard station/office.
The first lifeguard seemed like she knew what she was doing. She seemed concerned and was ready to do what ever she could. I felt relieved but that soon changed as I watched the young girl on duty get a better look of Dylan's' wound. After she got her first look, her eyes ROLLED BACK in her head and she became faint. After almost passing out, an older police officer broke through the circle of onlookers to take charge. "What's going on here?" he confidently spoke. But as he pulled away the bloody towel and looked into my son's shivering mouth, HE BECAME FAINT!!!! He almost passed out as well. OH MY GOD!!!! I said out loud. Nobody can help him?????? I couldn't believe the incompetence!!!! My wife and I snatched a couple clean towels and ran for our car....Sharen sat in the back with the kids as I drove through across the river, though RUSH HOUR to get to the EMERGENCY ROOM. Dylan was in shock and was just shivering with a blank stare on his face!!! I'll never forget that look on his little blood smudged face.
Of course, we spent hours in the ER only to be told that Dylan would need to see an ORAL SURGEON. His front baby teeth were shoved inches into his gums and they would need to be surgically removed for the permentent teeth to come in at a later date. It would be another day of horror as Dylan was put under and two teeth removed. Dylan actually left the Dentist chair and tried to run away at one point. He was having nothing of this. After he came to from the anesthetic, he told us of hullucinations he had while he was under. He could see multiple fingers coming out of his hands!!!!! He was probably seeing double.
Later that afternoon, he was feeling well enough to want to go outside and ride his bycycle. Not today Dylan.....Let's just rest. We don't need another accident so soon. Unfortunatley, there would be more accidents. I'll never forget the panic I felt that Summer Day.
Just another tale from the Orange Room!!!!
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