When I was growing up and living in my ORANGE ROOM, I never felt that my family was poor or that we were deprived of wants and needs as children. Both my mother and father worked and Dad worked two jobs for many years. We lived in Mardell Manor which was the epitome of middle class suburbia. We weren't rich but we took annual vacations and as kids, always had the ball gloves, cleats and any sporting good we needed. We ate well and always had nice clothes. Some people today may say we were white privilege, but I disagree and don't understand that term.
My Dad quit school as a teenager and began working to afford necessities that he was not accustomed to as a child. As a young man with a new baby, he could not afford a new furnace when theirs broke down one winter. My Dad found a way to afford a furnace by installing it himself. By cutting out the labor cost, he could afford it. I couldn't have installed a furnace if my life depended on it. Yet, he did. Everything we had, my parents worked hard for....and we all appreciated what we had.
As a teenager, my cars were very cheap, usually purchased for under $100 per car, but my Dad would make sure they ran. They never co signed on a car loan for me or any of my brothers. When I turned 16, I was expected to work for my gas money and what ever else I needed. I had a place to live, clothes and food but anything after that was up to me. I thought that was fair. So, for the next several years of my life, I'd work part time while going to school. I didn't have much money but I was comfortable...until I decided to move out of my ORANGE ROOM and quit school. Now, I had to experience living with out a safety net.
I moved into a band house after getting hired by Bergner's downtown and between my job and my band, I barely had enough money for food, rent and my share of utilities. We were poor really. We ate once a day and lived a bohemian lifestyle that continued for about a year before I realized I was drowning and needed help. My folks helped me pay for another shot at ICC although my Dad was NOT on board with that. He figured I'd "made my bed and should have to sleep in it". But, he grudgingly went along thanks to my Mom. So, once again, I had a place to live and food to eat but no extra money to spend. I lived on band money and a few bucks from teaching guitar. This situation continued until I graduated ICC and then took out a loan for further college at ISU in Normal where I continued to work part time at Garcia's Pizza and played music on the weekends...... but I never had any money.
Right before I finished school, I moved out of my parents house and moved in with a girl I'd recently met. She was living in a basement of a friend of hers and I split the monthly rent of $100.00 per month. That was to be my first wife..... and we were both poor. I remember going through pants pockets, nooks and crannies to come up with enough change so we could buy a 6 pack of Old Style beer and watch a 19 inch black and white tv on a table in our kitchen that also was our bed room. Yes, our bed was in our kitchen. The other room was a living area and a small bathroom. We were poor.
I eventually passed my insurance and health exams and began my first career job at Prudential Insurance. It was a straight commission position. No salary! if you didn't sell, you didn't eat or pay your rent. No privilege and no hand outs. It was hard work, but I became successful enough to purchase our first real house. As the years passed, I found myself in my early 30's with two children, an ex wife........ and still not much money.
I had been driving cars with no heat or AC for as long as I can remember.......and then I married my current wife, Sharen. Sharen was working for Pals Preschool when I was hired as a branch manager of a small bank in a Kroger facility. Before long, we purchased our first brand new car. It was an amazing accomplishment and I never took it for granted.
During our first few years together, we were still barely making ends meet but we were never behind. When Sharen would mention that it was "bill night" I would always cringe a little bit. We ALWAYS paid our bills TOGETHER at the table. This was because in my prior marriage, my first wife was in charge of paying our bills and unknown to me, had acquired over 20 thousand dollars of credit card debt behind my back. It was my fault for not participating. I made the money, and she paid the bills....or so I thought. We eventually went through a bankruptcy and I never wanted to experience that again. So, Sharen and I , paid our bills, "nose to nose". I wanted to know were every penny was going.
Some nights at the kitchen table, after she would read the amounts due, and I would write the check, the positive dollar amount left in our checking account would be VERY LOW. We'd pay the bills, but there was never much left over. I HATED knowing how cash poor we really were. So, to cope...... I INVENTED A BILL PAYING STRATEGY...... a game to ease the stress!! It was called STRIP BILLS!!!
We were newly wed and still in our glowing "honeymoon period", so I suggested that for every bill we paid, one of us had to remove one article of clothing. We flipped a coin to see who would go first. We'd look at our checking account balance and then decide on who would get paid first. Mortgage payment......one sock would come off. Insurance payments....another sock. Utility....pants came off. Garbage bill......shirt would come off. On and on it would continue…. until we would begin to notice our low account balance. It was around this time....... that if we had enough money to pay one more bill, her bra or my underpants were next to be removed. We'd reluctantly pay the damn bill but now we were close to being naked and the thought of our low account balance was not our main priority and we would embrace and leave the kitchen...... shut our bedroom door to make love and realized that WE HAD EACH OTHER!!!! That's all we needed.
Several years passed before we could pay our bills and still have $1,000.00 or more left in our bank account. We felt we had finally arrived. We still try to keep a certain threshold in our account to make us feel secure. Unfortunately, our growing bank account meant that the game, "STRIP BILLS" was no longer needed to help us cope. It was a lesson learned. Work hard and appreciate everything you've worked for!!!
Appreciate each other…. because that's what really matters.
Just another story from the naked city and the Orange Room.
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