It had been a tough five years. A million miles away from the days of the Orange Room. I missed my kids. Sharen and I had them during holidays and summers, but I wanted more input in their growth and development. I always thought I could be a good father, but time with my children was always limited.
My kids were hinting that everything was not rosy with my ex-wife's current marriage in Arkansas. It sounded volatile to me so I began sending emails to my ex, and tried to make the argument that she needed time for herself and that I was eager to take the kids full-time or at least swap the custody arrangements so we had them during the school year. She reluctantly agreed and during our next visit, we took the kids to Pizza Hut and explained our new custody arrangement. My oldest, Dara, was fine with the idea and seemed excited about it. Dylan however, was not pleased with the move. Dara began talking over the pros and cons with him and he reluctantly came around. Dylan loved his sister and they had always been together through thick or thin. As long as Dara was with him, he would be alright. The pizza arrived and we decided to talk about it later.
Once back in Illinois, Dara and Dylan adjusted to their new schools, made friends and we were a happy family. After about a year or so, we began having a little visitor stay overnight from time to time. Sharen's sister had become pregnant unexpectedly and we were introduced to Trey. He was as cute as can be usually cried when I got anywhere near him.
Over the next five years, Sharen looked after Trey more and more and Dylan was becoming very attached to him. He kept asking us if, "we could keep him," as if he were a pet.
Trey was bouncing between us and his grandmother and it was becoming apparent that he needed a stable family. Sharen asked me what I thought of adopting Trey. At first, I was not in favor of the idea at all! Why should this be our responsibility? I was worried about money and almost felt like we were too old to start over again with another child. I was 45 years old and we had enough on our plate getting Dara and Dylan through school. My mother thought I should think about adopting Trey. She went on to explain that Sharen accepted my kids and loved them as her own, so I should accept Trey. I wasn't so sure.
A few weeks later, I was watching The Concert For Bangladesh DVD late one night. Everyone was in bed and my heart was full. I'd been thinking about Sharen's proposition to adopt Trey when all of a sudden, I had an epiphany. Billy Preston began his song in the concert film and I listened to the words more closely than I ever had before.
Let not your heart be troubled.
Let mourning sobbing cease.
Learn to help one another.
And live in perfect peace.
If we just be humble
Like the good Lord said
He promised to exalt us
For love is the way
That's the way God planned it.
That's the way God wants it to be, doesn't He?
You better believe me.
That's the way God planned it.
That's the way God wants it to be, for you and me.
I'd heard this song many times over the past thirty years, but that night, it felt like God himself was speaking to me. He was telling me that this is the way HE PLANNED it and Trey was to be with me and our family. The next day, I told Sharen that I wanted to go ahead with the adoption.
Dylan was overjoyed that he would be getting a little brother as their relationship was already close. Trey was about five years old and about to become a Peacock. After all the paperwork and red tape were complete, the day arrived for our family to go downtown to the courthouse and stand before a judge to officially adopt Trey. However, before we left for the courthouse, an accident took place that we still talk about today. Sharen and I were upstairs getting dressed and the kids were playing in the living room. The boys were louder than usual but we didn't think much of it. Out of the blue, I heard a loud CRASH that sounded like something came through the wall of our house!!!!! I rushed down the stairs to find Dylan and Trey in shock and staring a our television which was now out of the entertainment cabinet and lying screen-first on the floor!!!! TVs back then still had a large picture tube and not the flat screens of today. It seems that the boys were throwing a pair of socks around and it went behind the TV set. Since Trey was small, he decided to get behind the set and retrieve the pair of socks...unfortunately, he pushed the front heavy TV out of its resting place and onto the living room floor!!!!
I was livid and could not control my anger. Items like TV sets did not come easily in our house as money was tight. Dylan of course ratted Trey out and I yelled, " I can see you really are my kid now because you're destroying my SHIT!!!" We laughed about that line in later years but not that night. We left the TV on the floor and piled into our Dodge Caravan which we purchased since we were now a family of five. The adoption proceedings went well and we celebrated with dinner later that night.
Over the years, Trey has grown into a fine young man with a good job and has never given me one minute of worry. I love him very much. He still lives with us and as I get older, I find comfort in that. That's the way God Planned it!!!! I lost Dylan in 2020, but God gave me another son. Thank you, God, you had a plan all along!!!!
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