The mid 1970's were a wonderful time to be a teenager.....and THE ORANGE ROOM was my home base of CHAOS AND KOOL!!!! However, that was only a small portion of my life and many strange adventures happened afterwards including the next story...THE ADVENTURES OF CHEESEMAN PART ONE.
Last Winter, while I was recuperating from neck fusion surgery, I asked my wife to bring down several boxes of things I've saved over the years. Notebooks from school, magazines, papers, photos, and other assorted oddities including original song lyrics, birthday cards..you name it. Some of them I saved in plastic bags and others I threw away.
While going through a notebook from an ISU class, I came across a page in a notebook where I had mindlessly noodled away. Without realizing it, I had created my first SUPER HERO!!! his name.....CHEESEMAN!!!!
A few years later while working at Famous Barr, I had resurrected my super hero on a small sales ticket. With the adventures of CHEESMAN fresh in my head, I decided to make a CHEESEMAN costume for real and wear it that Halloween. I constructed a yellow wedge for a helmet with angry eyes!!! ( see the drawing) I had a yellow cape and green tights and a utility belt that had different types of cheeses dangling from it. I also had a can of SILLY STRING , WHICH WAS SUPPOSED TO COME OFF ANYTHING!!!!
It was on my utility belt like CHEESE WIZ!!!!!
Our band played at this particular Halloween party and I strutted around in my CHEESEMAN costume before the show......until the CHEESE WIZ MALFUNCTION!!!!
Picture this…..In a larger than life, heroic swooping gesture, I strategically accosted two 80’s chicky babes sporting 1980's hairdos and yelled...... CHEESEMAN!!!!! and then sprayed the SILLY STRING IN THEIR HAIR!!!! …thinking it would come right out! It didn’t!!!!!! It only managed to bond itself to the babe’s hairspray like some kind of science / chemistry project gone horribly wrong!!!!
Imagine this guy...ME in a cheeseman suit......green tights with a cape with a yellow cheese head with angry eyes staring my conquests down, realizing at the same time that I had ruined their Halloween look for the night!!!!! They both yelled YOU SON A BITCH!!!!!!!!
I quickly escaped.
Off to fight another day for TRUTH JUSTICE AND THE AMERICAN CHEESE!!!!
CHEESE MAN
CIRA 1985
BY
DARREN PEACOCK
UP IN THE SKY… IT’S A SNACK, IT’S A DESSERT TOPPING … NO IT’S CHEESEMAN!
YES, CHEESEMAN; ABLE TO LEAP TALL HAMBURGERS IN A SINGLE SLICE….ABLE TO MOLD AND STILL BE SERVED…ABLE TO TURN HIMSELF INTO A WEDGE IF NECESSARY,
IT’S CHEESEMAN.
HE’S ALL AMERICAN…HE’S SWISS…
HE’S GOOD FOR YOU’RE DAUGHTER’S BONES AND TEETH.
WATCH NEXT WEEK AS CHEESEMAN BATTLES THE CHOLESTEROL COWBOY.
UNTIL THEN,
SAY CHEESE!
SAY CHEESE, MAN!
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