I was thinking about my crazy life the other day and I was reminded of the afternoon I barely got out alive! I was still living at home and the ORANGE ROOM was still my home base. It was early 1979, I was going to ICC and must have been in a period where I was not working. I fought with my parents continually about what I was going to do with my life, how I was going to support myself. The problem was, I didn't have a clue. I was lost. I was a music major at ICC but it was all above my head. I was playing in the Jazz band and could play, but I was never going become a music director or anything. I was told I had to go to college and that's what I chose. Perhaps better guidance would have helped but this was uncharted waters for my folks and for me.
And so it was, on a overcast late Fall / early Winter day, I dressed in my best job hunting suit complete with overcoat and pulled out of the driveway and began my journey to unknown storefronts to sell myself and talents. ( which were none ) But before I headed downtown, I needed to make a quick stop to an ex girlfriends parents house!! I had heard that she was in town for a few days and i thought I should make an appearance in my sweet looking best job hunting suit complete with overcoat!!!
She met me at the door. I hadn't seen her in a while and she looked stunning. Even in a red and black flannel shirt, she was very attractive to me. After several minutes of small talk on the basement couch, the old feelings came to the surface and the fires of passion were turned up to 11. We still had that connection. Soon, we were two young 19 year olds wrapped like a pretzel on her parents couch in the middle of something warm and exciting!!! That's when we heard the FRONT DOOR OPEN AND THEN SHUT LOUDLY!!!
Her step Dad, and king of his castle, was bragging at the top of his lungs about how he had just bought a boat or a car or an airplane.....I wasn't paying much attention other that the fact that the voice was getting louder and coming straight down the stairs into our little pretzel factory of love!!! OH CRAP!!!! I leaped over the back of the couch and tried to stay out of sight while my girlfriend buttoned up and tried to act innocent.
When the guy got to the bottom of the stairs, I had one leg in my black dress pants and the other almost in...the problem was, my underwear were not cooperating and in the rush to save my life, became just a wad in my left pant leg. When the surprised Father became aware that something was not quite right, he stopped at the bottom of the stairs and yelled, " WHAT HE HELL IS GOING ON HERE????????? " That's when I popped my head up from behind the couch!
At first, I thought perhaps I'd be shot as an intruder and figured it would be a short painless death. Then, I thought maybe I'd have to fight my way out of this horrible sitcom situation, but.. I soon realized I may make it out alive after all. He looked me in the eye and said, I'll give you 30 seconds to get your ass out of my house!!!!!! Whooshhhhhhh!!!!! That's all I needed.
I said my goodbyes to my old girlfriend on my way out and put my overcoat over my sweet job hunting suit complete with a pair of underwear tightly stuck in a bulge inside my left pant leg.
Now this was no way to make a good first impression on potential bosses in my job search so I had to make a pitstop. I ended up stopping at my good friends house on my way back into town but he wasn't there.
His Mother politely explained that he was working...(Thanks, rub it in why don't you) I told his sweet Mother that was ok but would she mind if I used her bathroom. I was job searching myself and had to pee. "You're looking for work? Out in the country?" She seemed puzzled. Oh, no I said, I was just leaving to look. She didn't say anything more but I could read her mind and she was thinking, "why didn't he pee at his own house and why was he peeing here.?"
After I locked the bathroom door, I was finally able to rescue my tighty whities from my left pant leg and returned them to their proper position. Snug once again!!! I thanked my friend's mom and went on my way down the road to securing a job at Bergner's downtown later that afternoon.
Everything worked out but I had to chuckle as I took off my sweet job hunting suit off later that afternoon in the ORANGE ROOM..... I thought of that 10CC song...The Things We Do For Love!!!! Indeed. There would be more things to do in the name of love, but this was only one of them..... from The ORANGE ROOM.
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