Now that I've been retired for a couple years, I can look back on my career as a banker with more fondness that I could at the time. Dealing with people's money and their finances could be stressful at times but I aways tried to do my best and be honest and professional. I felt I could communicated with all different types of customers, young or old, sophisticated or simple. I myself, am a simple man, and many times I could make recommendations or explain scenarios without coming off arrogant using financial double talk. I'd choose analogies and illustrate proposals by using 'outside the box' descriptions and language. Reallocating portfolios sounded like, " picking apples off the tree and making pies" or financial plans would consist of three circles, "now money, later money and never money. Interest is like, " the foam in your root beer float." These are just a few of the silly but effective ways I could communicate with customers.
Of course, there were some people that you just couldn't communicated with. I actually had a woman complain to our branch manager about me and my "third grade analogies". It really hurt my feelings.... more because she went to my manager and second, because my manager brought it to my attention. I became a bit gun shy over the next several months, but my natural instincts kicked back in. Its just how I speak, and most people enjoyed my methodology. However, somedays you just have to tell it like is!!!!
Plain and Simple!!! Like the day I shared my office with an elderly married couple.
For many years, our office in Pioneer park was wide open with only a few partitions between desks. There was little to no privacy and customer conversations could be heard by all at our desks. After months of remodeling, this was addressed with each desk being separated into small offices with each desk enclosed with walls and a ceiling. A clear sliding door was installed so customers could see into each office. We all enjoyed the privacy of our new offices ...until one day I had an unexpected visitor.
After, shaking hands with an older couple, I ushered them into my office with the glass sliding door and had them sit down. I slid the door closed behind me and we began to discuss the reason for their visit to the bank. I first noticed something unusual out of my peripheral vision. It looked like a dark spot shot across the side wall to my right and in front of a hideous painting over my desk. Then, I saw it again, up in the corner of the ceiling. It had wings and it was fluttering. I tried to not look at it too long and adjusted my attention back the woman who was speaking to me. Just then, I had to accept the fact that THE BAT.... was now bouncing against the top of the glass door was about to be a problem!!!! The elderly couple were still oblivious to the BAT SITUATION and the fact that we were basically trapped inside a kind of a glass CAGE with perhaps a rabid BAT ready to entangle itself in my customers bouffant hair do!!!!
Just as I was beginning to come up with the words to describe our current situation, the BAT decided to fly a FIGURE 8 arial maneuver in our enclosed glass cube. "What The Hell was that!!!" screamed the woman with the big hair!!!! The husband was looking at me with a confused look on his face when I stated the obvious....Its a BAT!!!! And with that, the three of us looked like giant lottery balls bouncing off each other in our attempts to open the sliding door and escape with our lives!!!!! The husband was out first, then his screaming wife.....I snuck out last and closed the winged rodent inside my office....and it was PISSED!!! It was flying in figure 8's bouncing of of each wall, knocking my family pictures off my filling cabinet while looking for an escape route to freedom.
Needless to say, there was no business to be concluded that afternoon. The couple left in a huff, happy to not have been bitten and transformed into vampires!!!! We called the animal control department or the BAT CATCHERS as we called them.
Not since living in my ORANGE ROOM, had I been so thoroughly entertained!!!! Stay tuned for more TALES OF THE ORANGE ROOM. Same BAT TIME, same BAT CHANNEL.
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