Today's tale from the ORANGE ROOM, takes us back to the Summer of 1977. I was spending my time between my part time job and the band in my ORANGE ROOM. The orange room was the bedroom in my parents house and was my fortress of solitude. The burnt orange walls and lemon yellow shag carpet conforted my soul in times of trouble. In the month of July 1977, trouble WAS brewing. Our class had just graduated two months earlier and for the first time since our freshman year, everyone was going their own way. Many were going on to college, some were taking on jobs other were pursuing what needed to be done. My girlfriend of the past 3 and a half years fell into the later category.
I've mentioned this time of my life in several other ORANGE ROOM blogs but it remains one of the most dramatic things that ever happed to me. I was just 18. Everything was fresh, and hearts were yet to be broken. For the past year, there had been another boy challenging me for the attention of my girl. There were several incidents and episodes where we were close to splitting up due to this certain guy!!! Luckily, the letters that were written to me explained what was going on. She would never leave me. ( it was our form of communication in the day. No texts.) I still have many of these letters. One thing was certain...there was competition on the horizon.....and her heart was not necessarily mine to keep.
I was certainly worried about what was going on in our relationship but on one particular July evening, my best friend and I decided to go to the Heart Of Illinois Fair. Looking back, I wonder why my girlfriend and I didn't go together. Perhaps she was working or declined my invitation….all I know is she was becoming distant. The letters she wrote tried to explain her confusion at the time. I felt very uneasy of our future.....I knew it was only a matter of time before......before what????? I wasn't sure.
After walking around the fair for an hour or two, my friend and I took in the Grandstand show which at the time was included in the ticket price. We watched the show and soon a one hit wonder singer appeared on stage. The sun had just set. Her name was Mary MacGregor and she had a song in the charts at the time called Torn Between Two Lovers. I don't think I'd ever heard it before to be honest, but as she began to sing this song, something unusual began to take control of me. As the words spilled from her lips, I began to feel like I was looking down the wrong end of a telescope! I was oblivious to the grandstand audience and all I could see was this woman singing this song DIRECTLY TO ME AND ME ONLY!!!!
Torn Between Two Lovers:
There are times when a woman has to say what's on her mind
Even though she knows how much it's gonna hurt
Before I say another word let me tell you, I love you
Let me hold you close and say these words as gently as I can
There's been another man that I've needed and I've loved
But that doesn't mean I love you less
And he knows he can't possess me and he knows he never will
There's just this empty place inside of me that only he can fill
Torn between two lovers, feelin' like a fool
Lovin' both of you is breakin' all the rules
Torn between two lovers, feelin' like a fool
Lovin' you both is breakin' all the rules
You mustn't think you've failed me
Just because there's someone else
You were the first real love I ever had
And all the things I ever said
I swear they still are true
For no one else can have the part of me I gave to you
Torn between two lovers, feelin' like a fool
Lovin' both of you is breakin' all the rules
Torn between two lovers, feelin' like a fool
Lovin' you both is breakin' all the rules
Just typing these lyrics again puts me right back on those bleachers that night. I felt so vulnerable and naked. Surely, my friend and EVERYONE in the audience knew this song was being sung DIRECTLY TO ME!!! How could they NOT know???? OMG...my heart was pulled out of my chest and it was bleeding in front of everyone.
There's been another man that I've needed and I've loved
But that doesn't mean I love you less
And he knows he can't possess me and he knows he never will
There's just this empty place inside of me that only he can fill
That line was the first direct hit!!!
Then the chorus.....direct hit number two!!!!
You mustn't think you've failed me
Just because there's someone else
You were the first real love I ever had
And all the things I ever said
I swear they still are true
For no one else can have the part of me I gave to you
When this final verse washed over me, it was all over and tears began to run down my face. This was just too close to home. Some of these words were consistent to what was written in those letters. I've never experienced anything like this before or after in my life. My friend asked if I wanted to leave and I said, "yes." We went back to the midway and as if right on cue, who appeared on the scene at this moment but my buddy's girlfriend. Three's a crowd, and it became apparent that my friend would be going home from the fair with her and not me.
We said our goodbyes and I walked alone in the dark back to my car parked out in the field. I was gutted and felt so sad. I drove home in silence and went to bed in my ORANGE ROOM early that night. I can't even remember if I called my girl. It was only a matter of time... a few weeks later... she was gone for good. I stayed in MY ORANGE ROOM until I could face the world again. We all remember our first broken heart....this was mine.
Just another Tale From The ORANGE ROOM.
Yes, a broken heart is the worst!