Hello and welcome back to the yellow shag carpet and black bean bag chair here in my Orange room. Get comfortable and I'l light some incense and begin my story. Today's Tale From The Orange Room.....When Days Were Psychedelic, finds us in 1988 and I'd been out of the Orange Room for some time. In the years that followed, I had travelled in a Rock Band, went back to school, graduated, found a job and in 1986, got married. The first few years were financially tight, but we were in love, or so we thought. We found a house and played "grown up" convincingly for several years. Things eventually didn't work out between us but on this particular day, things were still good. Now on to today's tale.
You've heard of the Mile High Club? That exclusive circle of thrill seekers who dare to make love with their partner in a tiny bathroom aboard an airliner mid flight? The excitement must be a ten on the scale of naughtiness due to the fact that time is limited as well as the space needed to pull off such a kinky feat! Can you say contortionist? Truth be told, I'm sure I would have joined this elite club if only I had the chance back in my youth. In the Orange Room days, there would be the occasional quickie underneath a pine tree in the dead of winter. Pants completely off. What's a teenage couple to do if parents refuse to leave the house? Of course there was the liaison in the hospital bathroom after having surgery...chalk that up to hormonal imbalance. An innocent whoopi in the band practice room or cheerleaders dressing room during school seemed harmless in the day.... but the encounter that rivals even the Mile High Club is what I call The 70 MPH Club!!!
In 1988, my first wife and I had been married about two years and we hosted a weekend party called....It Was Twenty Years Ago Today, 1968 Revisited. A hippy party where everyone came dressed in hippy gear as we sat on the grass and enjoyed late 60's music. We had a wonderful time. I remember being handed a buckskin flask of wine and I kept drinking this terrible wine until I could not stand up any longer. The party was a huge success but I was one of the first causalities and went to bed early.
The next morning began with several of my wife's friends jumping on my bed so I got up and decided to carry on with the party. So did my wife. We had a show to go to that afternoon. My friend was playing in a park across the river and we we needed to feel better soon. I was so hung over that "hair of the dog" was my motto for the day. I started drinking Gin and Grapefruit as we watched a VHS tape of Tom Petty from the recent Live Aid concert and before long we were feeling ready to hit the road. We packed some beer and a big jug of Gin and Grapefruit in the car and we drove to the show. Someone shard a joint with me as soon as we got out of the car and I was temporarily out of commission once again but I eventually got my legs back.
As the day carried on, I had drank most of the Gin and my wife drank the rest of the beer. By nightfall it was obvious that we were off the charts intoxicated!!!! At midnight, we finally left the park and faced the challenge before us!!! We were too drunk to walk let alone drive...but onward we went. Once we got onto the interstate, I was trying my best to keep the car in our lane. About two miles into the drive, my wife decided she was going to have sex with me!!!! Right there in the car while I was driving 70 MPH!!!!! I tried to keep my eyes on the road but I could see that she had removed her shorts and somehow had managed to pull mine down as well!!!! The next thing I know, She is straddling me, my face buried deep in her cleavage while she proceeded to bounce up and down like a cowgirl in some imaginary rodeo!!!! Yee HAAAA!!!!
Now I must admit that I was somehow aroused even though I had our lives in my hands. I was driving that car on the interstate at 70MPH while having the ride of my life!!!! There were times when I couldn't see the road and I had to keep reminding myself that this was NOT A RIDE. I'm driving an automobile and we could die!!!! That only made it hotter!!! We both finished together right before the off ramp and we didn't dress until we pulled into our driveway. It now seems like a dream since we were both so fucked up but it definitely happened.
The Mile High Club is a prestigious group to be sure, but what about the 70 MPH Club?
I'm just happy to be alive to tell another Tale From The Orange Room!!!!!
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